Great things come in threes, kids, and today is not only Frank Sinatra’s birthday, not only Tom Waits’ birthday, but it’s the tenth birthday of America’s first Web page. Raise your glasses! Shout huzzah! Let joy be unrestrained, let the dance be unconfined!

On the antivirus-and-back-doors front, I meant to post this some time ago but figure late is better than later: McAfee says they’re not going to put any FBI backdoor in, and they never were going to put an FBI backdoor in, and whatever gave you that idea? All righty then…

Okay, are we more disturbed that this personality test exists, or that I know who Elizabeth Bathory is, or that I didn’t write this test myself? (What good is an entire library full of mayhem if I’m not going to use it to enlighten the Net, I ask you?)

A most enjoyable op-ed piece saying what an increasing number of folks (thank heavens) seem to be thinking re Ashcroft. “Well screw you buddy” indeed. Spoken like a true New Yorker.

Screw up your finances first, ask questions later: The Treasury Department is saying that it’s proper procedure to cut off access to one’s bank account, then wait for the bank to investigate whether you should get the access back. Everyone who’s ever tried to get Citibank (the subject of this news item) to correct an error knows just how horrible a prospect this is.

Hey, go give EPIC some money. We like the Electronic Privacy Information Center. They’re working their butts off to protect us. And it’s the holidays; freedom makes a lovely gift.

Oh for God’s sake — was anthrax just an excuse for the House of Representatives to get a few days off with pay? You got to wonder if that’s the case, based on the breathtaking ineptitude of the investigation. (Ah, but investigating the case would take away time the government could be using to diminish your civil liberties. Not that they’re cynically exploiting events to institute a police state or anything — heavens, where’d you get that idea?)

My friend and colleague Stephen Satchell has just gotten a very cool endorsement in his quest to be one of the guys reviewing Microsoft’s anti-trust compliance. Go Steve! He’s wicked smart and probably the most scrupulously ethical fellow in tech journalism. If you’ve got a moment, put in a good word for him yourself, or ask me and I can tell you more about him and then you can put in a good word.

(This space intentionally left blank.)

Hey, here’s an idea: Germany’s going to ban Net porn except from 11pm-6am each day. Why didn’t we think of that? Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to see what happens if I lick this electrical socket next to the desk.