KMart is dying, and it has inspired a magnificent essay by Hank Stuever in the Washington Post. Behold his work, ye mighty, and despair:

In any case, the thing to love about Kmart is that a small child is always about to knock over all of the ironing boards, in a great commotion of noise, followed by a spanking, the kind of spanking you didn’t think got delivered in America anymore (because you’ve spent too much time in Target, and not enough time in Kmart), and it will be hours before anyone will come along and rearrange the ironing boards that wanted so badly to be chic.

We are *so* not worthy.