agunn.com

Attention all personnel! They’re reworked the Ages of Man in Turkmenistan, and it’s a pretty good system. For future reference: Until 13, childhood; until 25, adolescence; until 37, youth (yes!); until 49, maturity (uh-oh); until 62, the age of the prophet; until 73, the age of inspiration (that’ll be nice, God willing); to 85, the age of the white-bearded elder (a beard? I won’t care for that); to 97, old age; to 107, the age of Oguz Khan, an ancient Turkic ruler. Yes, friends: live long enough, and you’ll be Turkic. Seems reasonable.