Which is better in this CNN story — the quote about the children, or the illustration? In any case, someone’s having way too much fun with this story.

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From my friend Jason, this lovely forward from Slate, which basically sums up the whole shootin’ match (I fit at least two of these descriptions; do I hear three, three?):

Jack Shafer, who says he never considered journalism school, writes: “I fear that [Columbia U. president Lee Bollinger’s] New Improved Columbia Graduate School of Journalism will be an overly academic program, and that other schools, ever impressed by the Ivys, might imitate it. I fear the day that the J-school credential assumes such an aura that it becomes a prerequisite for a newspaper job, the way the B.A. credential has. Journalism depends on uncredentialed losers, outsiders, dilettantes, frustrated lawyers, unabashed alcoholics — and, yes, creative psychopaths — to keep its blood red.”

I’ve been meaning for years to delve into the Alan Sokal affair, but for some reason today really was the day. Too funny. Nothing’s more enjoyable than a bunch of postmodernists with their panties in a refracted-hyperspace wad.

Okay, who’s the dingbat stringer in Seattle? To read this fifth-grade-book-report-quality piece from Reuters, you’d think no one had ever threatened suicide online, or been saved by someone who saw the threat in a discussion group. A little research, a little Googling, or a memory longer than that of a goldfish would’ve shown the writer that this was in fact Not So — hell, this doesn’t even set a distance record. I sense that the next wave of know-nothing Net journalists is upon us. Ptui.

You’re totally high if you’re under 40 and think you’re getting any Social Security. Still, we have grandparents who have earned it and parents who may not have earned it but will otherwise drain our savings dry, so do the right thing and protect those funds from Dubya.