AAAA! Here I am packing up my whole foolish apartment and I never find anything like this laying around. And who is this father of two who send these on their way back to the publisher and yet was not ripped to shreds by an angry mob of two?!

Hi, media-and-entertainment industry? This is the entire rest of the world calling. Please be advised that on this end of the line, nobody knows or cares about Tina Brown. She may be the biggest potential-employer cheese in the universe to you, but to us she’s just another middle-aged blonde lady in suits. Ergo, we will not be watching her talk show, especially if she’s going to be saying things like “when I opened the door of the green room and saw him sitting there on his cellphone vibrating with contrarian vitality and unpredictable views, I felt completely unhinged” which by the way sounds vaguely dirty. Thank you. That is all.

Well! Just in case you were worried that Hillary Rosen was going to get bored, what with leaving the RIAA and all — no, she seems to be setting herself and her clients past and future up comfortably.

Not to take anything away from my immense respect for the mother of this deeply stupid girlie (madam, the entire nation nods as you declare your daughter a ‘brat’) I have to ask: Why on earth was the family hauling a 20-year-old on a cruise she clearly didn’t want to take or appreciate? Is she that rotten, that they didn’t dare leave her onshore?

You know me — no cable, no Direct TV, no problem. But I have now seen Bob Costas’ new show and I take it back. The first night’s lineup had Robert Wuhl, Ron Shelton, Susan Saradon and Tim Robbins (just adorable together) from Bull Durham, talking baseball and free speech; a discussion of NCAA-to-NBA recruiting with Jim Boeheim and Carmelo Anthony (nice kid); and John Cusack. Just yeah. If 12 weeks of America’s best sportscaster is all we get in today’s graceless TV age, well then thank HBO and block out the 11:30pm spot on Friday. You really have nothing better to do.

Salon's Patrick Smith (and his readers) ponder the meaning and appelation of geekitude: “A reader — cynical, astute and maybe a bit paranoid — comments: “I thought geeks were computer nerds. I am beginning to see that perhaps being a geek (or a nerd) means doing or knowing absolutely anything useful, and the term is now used to describe anyone who does not use charisma, manipulation, charm or forcefulness as their means of achieving a position in society.” Sing it, brother. He goes on in the next paragraph to ask, “Besides, how many geeks get to carry guns to work?” A rhetorical question that I hope stays that way, but thank you as ever for playing.

Father Mychal Judge died on 911, and now there's a movement to have him canonized. I'm digging it, especially as I contemplate the idea that Queen Isabella of Spain (a complex woman who both advocated some very early, very advanced human-rights idea and sponsored the genocide of much Latin American indigenous culture) is up for sainthood. Father Mychal's most excellent and relevant prayer is also included on this site. And he'd be an openly gay saint, which is damn cool too.