Um, like, hi? My name’s, like, Caryn? And I work for, like, you know, the New York Times? And I saw, like, Lord of the Rings? And I thought it was gonna be about, like, jewelry and maybe Lord & Taylors or something? And instead it was, like, complicated? And, like, girls can’t understand it? You know? And I asked some other girls in the office, not the feminist ones but, like, the ones I go shopping with? And they agreed with me that it was really hard like math and stuff, you know? So we all went to, like, Mona Lisa Smile, and then I made some of the gross generalizations that make Angela G. wish more j-school girlies like me would stick with the Weddings pages? That would be so fun! Like, flowers are pretty!

(AG comments: When I am empress, I am going to make sure that every campus with a j-school and a home economics department has very clear signage indicating which is which. Too many young ladies are getting confused.)

(UPDATE: Oh, Christ, I’m in accord with Zacharek on this. Someone can just come and stab me right now.)

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