Open letter to Steve Rushin, Sports Illustrated columnist: Sorry Husker football bores you. It can’t possibly be as severe as the narcolepsy you’re giving the rest of us by going on about Rebecca Lobo every fourth paragraph (you married a girl jock we may remember, we got it, let’s move on), but I appreciate the fact that those repeated trips to the dictionary must be making you sleepy. So to help you out, and because Cornhusker fans are aware that most sportswriters suffer from a certain opinion-skewing handicap, please print out the following and paste it above your typewriter for easy spelling reference: N-E-B-R-A-S-K-A. (If you need a map — no, you can’t just look up “flyover zone” on Google — those can also be provided.) You’re welcome. End transmission, you bald-headed freak.

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